Given that farmers have demonstrated that:

(If that does not make sense, click here.) Scientists hypothesize that the following must also be true.

Years of research, hundreds in tax payer dollars, and thousands of cute cat pictures have finally produced an answer. As seen in the detailed scientific evidence below, Scientists found that this hypothesis is complete and utter malarkey

However, their research produced this startling revelation – Cats warp reality. They force containers to conform to their shape

The truth is …

It’s Science! You know it is true because you read it on the internet!