After his mother passed away, John realized that he really did not know a lot about his parent’s lives before he was a part of it. Our family lived 1,300 miles from our extended family, so we did not get the exposure to our extended family and those stories that some people do.

While scanning family photos, John ran across pictures from the photo collection marked with Chan, Carol, Shirley, and Ken Lam. He remembered his dad mentioning Chan Lam a time or two. So he tried to find information to contact here. The internet is both useful and terrifying. There was sufficient information assembled that he managed to find and contact his daughter Shirley, and she put him in touch with Chan Lam.

Chan Lam is either in his 70’s or early 80’s. Either age or accent may have resulted in some mis-translations, and he was not sure all of his details and dates were accurate. Here is what he told John, along with some of the pictures from the time.

He said that he did not know John’s dad, Gene, very well, even though they had offices in the same building. Most of their interactions were related to their research and studies; they did not socialize much. They mostly got together over related subject matter. He spoke highly of Gene, saying that he was hard working, generous, and honest.

Chan was an Electrical Engineer, and Gene was a Mechanical Engineer. They met in Arkansas in college because they worked in the same department – Electronics and Instrumentation. Gene was the first to find Clemson University, and Chan went there with him. He said that Gene pulled the trailer from Arkansas to Clemson. He thinks John’s grandpa, Elton, might have been with him, but he can not remember for certain. He said that Gene lived in a trailer park across a small bridge on the same road that went in front of the school. (John’s aunt and photos suggest that it was Taylor Trailer Park. We have photos of the … pink? … trailer.)

Chan graduated in Arkansas in 1965. He moved to Clemson at the end of 1965, and he graduated in 1970. He thought Gene graduated in 1971. (John found a commencement program, here, from December 1972 that lists his dad on the second to last page.) He moved to Charleston, and he has lived there since the 1970s. It appears he might have been employed at the Medical University of South Carolina.

They kept in touch for a while, but they lost touch over the years. They were both trying to establish families, research reputations, and careers. Chan also mentioned being very poor and not having the money to do much. Chan regretted not keeping in touch. When he retired, he tried to get in contact with Gene, but he found out that John’s dad had already passed away. (It sounded like he said that he retired in 2001, but it might have been 2010. 2010 seems more probably) He touched base with John’s mom, Dinah, and she told him that her oldest son was in the Army.

Gene and Dinah visited a friend or relative in Charleston and visited the Lam family. He believes that the person they visited was Drew, and John’s parents stayed with them. (Possibly, a last name. Maybe Grandma’s family? Uncle Paul and Aunt Dorothy? Maybe JoAnn and Justelle Drew listed on a photo.) He remembers Gene and Dinah coming to Charleston in the 1970s. (Photos suggest March and/or May 1971.) He remembers their oldest son being in a stroller at the time. They went to the gardens in Charleston. He thinks that it might have been White Point Gardens with the military memorial. (There is a picture of Gene and Chan sitting on a cannon barrel, and Carol, Shirley, and Dinah on the beach.)

The Lam family came up to Maryland, once or twice, to visit Gene and Dinah, after Gene was hired at the Naval Academy. John has not found pictures of this. Chan did mention that John’s parents put dishes in a cabinet that was not strong enough, and the cabinet came off the wall. (That may be the picture below.) The cabinet was repaired, by the time the Lam family visited. He said Gene was a very handy man. He taught Chan a lot of things, including how to change his oil.

He was not sure whether he should tell John how his parents met, but John asked him to tell. He said that, one summer, Gene drove to Okmulgee to visit and came back with a wife. Mom was a waitress at the time, but there was nothing wrong with that. John thinks Chan might have thought mom was a mail order bride.

John emailed Chan the photos that he found from the time. John let him know that Gene had not just picked up a random woman to marry in Okmulgee. They exchanged letters for three to six months before getting married.

We may not be able to say Happy Father’s Day to John’s dad any more, but we can wish all the great dads out there a